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- Once upon a time, in the quaint kingdom of Reuhrenwald, a king and queen
- gave birth to a prince.
- And this would not have been so unusual--indeed, it is the fashion of
- the times that kings and queens give birth to princes--but the prince
- in question was born fully grown, seventeen feet tall, with the least
- pleasant unibrow any of the subjects had ever seen. Physicians were
- summoned from all over the kingdom to examine him.
- "Why, it's like nothing I've ever seen," one said. "I've heard of babies
- born seventeen feet tall, and babies born fully grown, but the unibrow
- is really a new thing altogether."
- And it was really only a matter of time, what with his stature and
- unsightliness, that he took up gardening, and spent his free time doing
- the pruning at the tops of trees that nobody else had bothered to
- do. He became good friends with the birds who lived at the tops of
- the trees, calling them by their first names--usually Benvolio, because
- birds often name their children Benvolio, regardless of gender, for
- reasons that none of them quite remember, though they assure you
- it has something to do with eggs or some bird-related thing, which is
- not as obvious as it might sound at first--and generally being merry.
- One day, he looked beyond the forests of Reuhrenwald and noticed that
- the kingdom was gone. Half of it was destroyed in the Great Fire of the
- Shoemaker's Estate, and the other half moved away because the town
- wasn't like it once was without the Shoemaker's Estate. The prince
- shrugged and went on with his pruning.
- He also probably turned into a tree or some shit, because that's what
- usually happens in stories that start with "Once upon a time." You
- can honestly believe whatever you want about the prince. See if I care.
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