Once upon a time, in the quaint kingdom of Reuhrenwald, a king and queen
gave birth to a prince.

And this would not have been so unusual--indeed, it is the fashion of
the times that kings and queens give birth to princes--but the prince
in question was born fully grown, seventeen feet tall, with the least
pleasant unibrow any of the subjects had ever seen. Physicians were
summoned from all over the kingdom to examine him.

"Why, it's like nothing I've ever seen," one said. "I've heard of babies
born seventeen feet tall, and babies born fully grown, but the unibrow
is really a new thing altogether."

And it was really only a matter of time, what with his stature and
unsightliness, that he took up gardening, and spent his free time doing
the pruning at the tops of trees that nobody else had bothered to
do. He became good friends with the birds who lived at the tops of
the trees, calling them by their first names--usually Benvolio, because
birds often name their children Benvolio, regardless of gender, for
reasons that none of them quite remember, though they assure you
it has something to do with eggs or some bird-related thing, which is
not as obvious as it might sound at first--and generally being merry.

One day, he looked beyond the forests of Reuhrenwald and noticed that
the kingdom was gone. Half of it was destroyed in the Great Fire of the
Shoemaker's Estate, and the other half moved away because the town
wasn't like it once was without the Shoemaker's Estate. The prince
shrugged and went on with his pruning.

He also probably turned into a tree or some shit, because that's what
usually happens in stories that start with "Once upon a time." You
can honestly believe whatever you want about the prince. See if I care.