|
|
@@ -0,0 +1,111 @@
|
|
|
+Blatantly inspired by [Mallory Ortberg](https://twitter.com/mallelis)'s
|
|
|
+[Bible Verses Where A Word Has Been Replaced By A Different Word](http://the-toast.net/series/bible-verses/)
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+## The Gateless Gate, Case 7: Jōshū Washes The Bowl
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+> A monk asked Jōshū to teach him.
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> Jōshū asked, "Have you eaten your meal?"
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> The monk replied, "Yes, I have."
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> "Then go wash your bowl", said Jōshū.
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> At that moment, the monk got woke.
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+## The Gateless Gate, Case 15: Tōzan's Three Blows
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+> Tōzan went to Ummon. Ummon asked him where he had come from.
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> Tōzan said: "From Sato."
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> Ummon asked: "In what temple did you remain for the summer?"
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> Tōzan replied: "The temple of Hōzu, south of the lake."
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> "When did you leave there?" asked Ummon.
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> "The twenty-fifth of August," answered Tōzan.
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> Ummon said: "I should give you three blows with a stick, but
|
|
|
+> today I forgive you."
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> The next day Tōzan bowed to Ummon and asked: "Yesterday you forgave
|
|
|
+> me three blows. I do not know why you thought me wrong."
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> Ummon, rebuking Tōzan's spiritless responses, said: "You are good
|
|
|
+> for nothing. You simply wander from one monastery to another."
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> Before Ummon's words were ended Tōzan got woke.
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+## 101 Zen Stories, Case 46: How Grass & Trees Become Woke
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+> During the Kamakura period, Shinkan studied Tendai six
|
|
|
+> years and then studied Zen seven years; then he went to
|
|
|
+> China and contemplated Zen for thirteen years more.
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> When he returned to Japan many desired to interview him
|
|
|
+> and asked obscure questions. But when Shinkan received
|
|
|
+> visitors, which was infrequently, he seldom answered their
|
|
|
+> questions.
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> One day a fifty-year-old student of wokeness said to
|
|
|
+> Shinkan: "I have studied the Tendai school of thought since
|
|
|
+> I was a little boy, but one thing in it I cannot understand.
|
|
|
+> Tendai claims that even the grass and trees will get
|
|
|
+> woke. To me this seems very strange."
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> "Of what use is it to discuss how grass and trees get
|
|
|
+> woke?" asked Shinkan. "The question is how you yourself
|
|
|
+> can become so. Did you ever consider that?"
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> "I never thought of it in that way," marveled the old man.
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> "Then go home and think it over," finished Shinkan.
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+## Book of Equanimity, Case 8: Hyakujō and the Fox
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+> Whenever Master Hyakujō delivered a sermon, an old man was
|
|
|
+> always listening there with the monks. When they left, he
|
|
|
+> left too. One day, however, he remained behind.
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> Hyakujō asked him, "What man are you, standing there?"
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> The old man
|
|
|
+> replied, "In the past, in the time of Kashyapa Buddha, I
|
|
|
+> lived on this mountain as a Zen priest. Once a monk came
|
|
|
+> and asked me, 'Does a perfectly woke person fall under
|
|
|
+> the law of cause and effect or not?' I said to him, 'He
|
|
|
+> does not.' Because of this answer, I fell into the state of
|
|
|
+> a fox for 500 lives. Now, I beg you, Master, please say
|
|
|
+> a turning word."
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> Hyakujō said, "The law of cause and effect cannot be obscured."
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> Upon hearing this, the old man became greatly woke.
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+## Book of Equanimity, Case 20: Jizō's "Most Intimate"
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+> Jizō asked Hōgen, "Where are you going, senior monk?"
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> Hōgen said, "I am on pilgrimage, following the wind."
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> Jizō said, "What are you on pilgrimage for?"
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> Hōgen said, "I don't know."
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> Jizō said, "Non knowing is most intimate."
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> Hōgen suddenly got really woke.
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+## 101 Zen Stories, Case 31: Every Take is Hottest
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+> When Banzan was walking through a market he overheard a
|
|
|
+> conversation between a butcher and his customer.
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> "Give me the hottest take you have," said the customer.
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> "Every take in my feed is the hottest," replied the butcher.
|
|
|
+> "You cannot find here any take that is not the hottest."
|
|
|
+>
|
|
|
+> At these words Banzan got woke.
|
Getty Ritter